Sometimes my mind wanders, and I could just cry when I reminisce. We didn't know it then, but those were the best days of our lives. Now the grass is a faded brown, and the trees are bare, and the air is cold. I'll remember the times we shared under the warm July sky, and all the memories that could never be replaced.
I looked back on us today, and I honestly don't know why I missed you, why I wanted you back. Sure, at the beginning we were kids rushing into things we had no idea what about, but slowly, instead of trusting you more, I trusted you less, and the more I loved you, the less I loved myself. But now I'm free, and I'm not sorry. I had to get out. I knew it was over long before you said it, sweetheart. And I thought you broke my heart, but you merely made it stronger, made it resilient. Of course I’ll never forget you, but there’s no way I’m ever going back. So goodbye, my first love. Thank you for being such a fabulous waste of time
"maybe he just feels like he's never good enough. not a good enough friend. not a good enough girl. not a good enough brother, athlete, and maybe he's just sick of trying"
Sometimes, I just miss that boy. The one who held my hand walking down the street; who's arms I laid in & never wanted to go away. The one who I talked to for hours & told pointless stories to. The one who knew everything about me & liked me anyway. The one who knew exactly what I was saying even if I didn't, & helped me when I had no clue what to do. The one who showed me what love was & what it was like to need someone there. The one who could only make me cry & hurt me like no other guy could. Those eyes that said everything, that sense of sarcasm that was always there; the way even he couldn't stop from falling in love. That even though we fought constantly & couldn't stand each other, we couldn't leave each other's side. Something is still there; something that never left me the day that boy broke my heart in two. Something like your first love that wasn't ready to end. Something that makes your stomach flip at the brush of a hand or arm. Something that makes it so much harder to know that he's not yours anymore, but hers. Something that makes you want to hide away & cry all those tears, because suddenly all of those memories come back & it almost hurts worse to know that it's all out of control. And you just miss everything about that boy that isn't ever coming back.
What’s worse than being blindly in love
with a guy and not seeing what he really is,
is being head over heels in love with a guy
and seeing him for exactly what he really is.
The asshole, the cheater, the guy who breaks your heart
over and over again and still loving him,
and not being able to get over him.
